"I'mma buy you a drank, oooh weee oooh" (c) T-Pain

[Disclaimer: Everything you read in these posts are true stories. Names may have been changed to protect the identities of subjects. Or we just don't remember them. Maybe we never knew their names. Hey, it bees like dat sometimes.]

I've never been the type of person to let a stranger buy me a drink. I don't know, call me crazy, but I always feel as if they would view it as I owe them something (i.e. a dance or 12, the next round, etc...). But there was this one time I did let a guy buy me a drink. Wrote a blog about it. Wanna read it? Here it go:

Tall Brother ("TB") walks over. Smiles, grabs my hand.

TB: Hey. My name is _____. I was wondering if I could buy you a drink.
Me: Ummm, I don't know.

At this point my girlfriends pinch me and chime in. Peer pressure is a mother...

Me: Uh, ok. Why not?
TB: Good. Just wanna put a smile on your face.
Me: (UGH!) Ha ha (Polite laughter = I almost threw up just now.)

We walk to the bar.

TB: This really was a ploy to get you away from your friends. (REALLY?! DUH!) So what are you drinking?
Me: Grey Goose Orange and cranberry.

He calls the bartender over and orders the drink. I think it's odd he doesn't order one for himself but before I could fully ponder this, he assaults me with non-stop small talk and schmoozing. He's trying extra hard to keep my attention but I have drink radar. I see the bartender put the drink down in my peripheral vision and then the unthinkable - TB grabs an empty cup and proceeds to pour half of my drink into it. He's still talking - never stopped actually - when I tap him and ask what he's doing.

Me: Um, excuse me but what are you doing?
TB: (Sheepish grin) Well I didn't know you'd be that expensive and I only have $20.

I take my now-halved drink, turn and walk away.

End scene.

The moral: don't even bother. Just buy them yourself.